Next week I am going to be challenged. I have volunteered to take part in a program that produces mixed feelings in me.
Sometimes I find myself looking forward to it. It is a program that is close to my heart and I know it is right that I am participating.
But then I am afraid. What emotions will it produce? What will I have to face in others, and in myself as I journey with my fellow participants?
There is a sense of inadequacy. Who am I to think I can be a positive influence? Is that even my role? My experience is limited and neither I nor any of the other participants have all the answers.
It would be more comfortable to stay at home. But then I know there will be a restlessness inside me as I try to settle and attempt to do work God has not called me to do in that time. I have resisted God’s call before and I know He will not let me forget that I am not following His plan for me.
My heart thumps to a humdrum beat as I think of the days ahead. Will I be of any use? Will I desert my post? What happens if … or if … or if …
I know what I must do. I know what I will do. I will go and accept the challenge. God promises me, even as I write that the words He said to Paul are true for me. And so I am trying to respond as Paul did, clinging to Jesus as I hear His voice.
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. … For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I have no idea, at this point in time, how next week will unfold. But I will go forward, holding on to Jesus, and relying on His strength to be mine.
I value your prayers as I do so. God bless you.